I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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