I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
