remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
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in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize