I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Still dying that you shit outside
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize