Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
