I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
