You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
