put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
