wakey wakey hands off snakey
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
false alarm, still single
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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