ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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