so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
