my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
