you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
