Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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