I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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