$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
