I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
