I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How drunk are you?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.