so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
MIDGETS
????
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
