Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize