I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
