I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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