honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
one two three fourrrrnication!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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