At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize