I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
