Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Randomize
