home. puking in laundry basket.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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