Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
