I just threw up on my dentist
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
