should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
