When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
