Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
