I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Be still, my beating vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
