nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
