it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
