and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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