Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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