Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
