im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Vodka?
Forever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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