All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
