i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
