well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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