it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
