And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
