I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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