best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
