Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
