her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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