Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
