do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize