so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
