Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
