Fuck appropriateness.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
