all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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