just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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