This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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