I faked an abortion last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
