True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize