Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
