Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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