Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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