I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize