I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize