I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
