Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
