I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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