i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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