There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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