I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
