Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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