well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
