Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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