its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
