PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
