marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
